Are you looking for some funny dog quotes to brighten up your day? Well look no further, here’s 30 of the funniest quotes about dogs. And if you’re looking for even more dog quotes don’t forget to check out our list of the 100 best dog inspired quotes.
30 Funny Dog Quotes
“No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as much as the dog does.” -Christopher Morley
“Ever consider what our dogs must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul, chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we’re the greatest hunters on earth!” -Anne Tyler
“If aliens saw us walking our dogs and picking up their poop, who would they think is in charge?” –Author Unknown
“I once decided not to date a guy because he wasn’t excited to meet my dog. I mean, this was like not wanting to meet my mother.” -Bonnie Schacter
“Handle every situation like a dog. If you can’t eat it or play with it, just pee on it and walk away.” –Author Unknown
“I don’t think twice about picking up my dog’s poop, but if another dog’s poop is next to it, I think, ‘Eww, dog poop!” -Jonah Goldberg
“What do dogs do on their day off? Can’t lie around – that’s their job!” -George Carlin
“Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.” -Groucho Marx
“Dogs never bite me. Just humans.” -Marilyn Monroe
“In order to keep a true perspective of one’s importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him.” –Derek Bruce
“Don’t accept your dog’s admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.” -Ann Landers
“My cats inspire me daily. They inspire me to get a dog!” -Greg Curtis
“You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, ‘Wow, you’re right! I never would’ve thought of that!’” -Dave Barry
“A dog can express more with his tail in minutes than his owner can express with his tongue in hours.” -Author Unknown
“To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs.” –Aldous Huxley
“Some days you’re the dog; some days you’re the hydrant.” –Author Unknown
“Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that is how dogs spend their lives.” -Sue Murphy
“A dog desires affection more than its dinner. Well – almost.” -Charlotte Gray
“Dogs teach us a very important lesson in life: The mail man is not to be trusted” -Sian Ford
“A well trained dog will make no attempt to share your lunch. He will just make you feel so guilty that you cannot enjoy it.” -Helen Thomson
“Dogs are great. Bad dogs, if you can really call them that, are perhaps the greatest of them all.” -John Grogan
“I’ve seen a look in dogs’ eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that dogs think humans are nuts.” -John Steinbeck
“It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes.” –Jay London
“Reason number 106 why dogs are smarter than humans: once you leave the litter, you sever contact with your mothers.” -Jodi Picoult
“If you’re uncomfortable around my dog, I’m happy to lock you in the other room when you come over.” –Author Unknown
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“A boy can learn a lot from a dog — obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down. ” – Robert Benchley
“You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.” – Harry Truman
“It’s tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won’t drink from my glass.” – Rodney Dangerfield
“If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.” – Fran Lebowitz
“When an 85 pound mammal licks your tears away, and then tries to sit on your lap, it’s hard to feel sad.” – Kristan Higgins
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What Are Your Favorite Funny Dog Quotes?
Do you have a favorite funny quote about dogs? Did I miss any good ones? Let me know in the comments.
More Funny Dog Quotes
Looking for some more dog quotes? Check out these awesome links:
- 28 Funny Dog Quotes – SpartaDog
- 52 Funny Dog Quotes – Good Morning Quote
- 75 of the Best Dog Inspired Quotes – Puppy Leaks
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